9. What is Faith? - Part I
Chapter Four
“And the Father who sent me has himself borne witness to me. His voice you have never heard, his form you have never seen. And you do not have his word abiding in you, for you do not have faith in him whom he has sent.”
John 5:37–38
I will never forget the first time I saw a man’s soul. Not only was that man eloquent, profound, and well-versed in Christian literature, he was highly respected by many. One morning, while praying for him from my heart, a combination of lights and shadows appeared before my spiritual eyes, and Jesus’s words sounded within me:
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.1
Since that day, I have observed hundreds of souls. Though I have seen many variations in appearance, I have concluded that there is a general pattern that is universal to all.
Our souls have the potential to possess up to three different lights, or aspects, paralleling the threefold appearance of the Word. The first is a soft white light that appears as a mist, laying the foundation upon which the rest of the soul is built. The second is a golden light that grows outward from the center of the mist. The third is a brilliant white light, capable of shining brighter than any “fuller on earth could bleach.”2 All three lights initially form the shape of a disc and expand into a sphere as the soul is increasingly perfected.
In order to learn more about the three lights, I decided to conduct a study of my own soul. Over the course of several months I carefully observed how specific thoughts, words, and deeds affected the three lights of my soul. I wanted to know whether various actions would brighten or dim and expand or retract each aspect of my soul. By making myself the subject of spiritual investigation, I developed the following view of the soul’s form and function.
The soul’s three aspects function much like our physical muscles. As we all know, the size of a muscle is directly related to its potential for physical action; the more a muscle grows, the more work it can do. Likewise, the size and radiance of each soul aspect directly relates to the soul’s potential to act consistently and powerfully. The more we strengthen and build our souls with certain thoughts and behaviors, the more we are able to progress along the path that Jesus revealed.
The luminous mist is the soul aspect that I see most often when I observe those around me. In some, the mist shines with a soft white glow, while in others it is faint or dull. At times, I have witnessed this light to be extremely widespread, extending far beyond the limits of the physical body. For example, the most luminous and expansive soul mist that I have seen was in the first man in the Garden of Eden and in Jesus at his conception, both of whom possessed only this one light. In others I observed, the mist was quite retracted, barely visible, or even absent altogether.
While studying how my own thoughts, words, and deeds impacted the size and radiance of the foundational soul aspect, I learned that whenever I applied sustained attention or conscious effort to a particular action, the mist would expand and brighten as a result. Conversely, when my thoughts or behaviors were automatic, mindlessly repeating some habit or psychological pattern, the mist would become smaller and duller as a result. After observing this pattern occur consistently over time, I concluded that the soft white light represents my ability to act in freedom.
The second soul aspect is the golden light, which may be radiant and brilliant, or dull and muted, depending on the spiritual maturity of the one I am observing. After Jesus’s baptism, this soul aspect was so expansive within him that it filled the entire sphere of Heaven. In most of the people I studied, the golden light was merely a sparkle in the center of the mist, or else I did not see it at all.
As I examined the second soul aspect in me, I discovered that it responded directly to my inner orientation. When I acted from selfish interests or desires, the golden light diminished in both radiance and size. When by conscious effort I chose to turn away from a self-focused preoccupation, the golden light expanded and became more brilliant.
Jesus called the internal action associated with the second soul aspect “repentance.”
A man had two sons; and he went to the first and said, “Son, go and work in the vineyard today.” And he answered, “I will not”; but afterward he repented and went.3
The son began with a self-focused orientation: prioritizing his own interests, he refused to go and work. However, when he “repented,” something changed within him, and he went to do what his father commanded. Repentance is the inward shift4 by which we consciously choose to orient our thoughts and actions away from ourselves.
As I studied the effects of repentance on my soul, I stumbled upon a fascinating discovery. Whenever I engaged in some form of self-focus, not only did the golden light in my soul diminish, but I also struggled to see the souls of those around me. Selfishness blinded me.5 By choosing to engage the world according to my selfish preoccupations, I assaulted my own spiritual sight. Only by repentance was my vision restored and strengthened.
The third and final soul aspect is the brilliant white light, which varies only in size. Following his transfiguration, Jesus’s soul was a sphere of blinding white light the size of Heaven. The soul of John the beloved apostle was also just as bright, though less expansive. Among our contemporaries whom I studied, I saw a diversity of sizes, from a mere glimmer of light to a glittering radiance that filled a room. Unfortunately, though, in most people I observed, I did not see this soul aspect at all.
Spatially, the brilliant white light always emerges from the center of the golden light. In the same way that the gold grows out of the center of the luminous mist, the final soul aspect is like a white seed growing out of the soil of the golden light. Each preceding soul aspect lays the foundation for the one that follows.
While investigating the brilliant whiteness in my soul, I quickly realized that it is the spiritual expression of our act of love. When my thoughts, words, or deeds expressed love for another, the light expanded. Conversely, when my actions neglected or used others, the light would fade. This central soul aspect is the spiritual muscle associated with our capacity to love.
The observation that to love is the central soul activity is unsurprising, for the early Christian writers consistently emphasized that to love is to fulfill God’s greatest commandment.6 Jesus communicated this clearly when he said,
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.7
By watching my soul change in response to my actions, I discovered that I could not love another until I had laid the foundation of the previous two soul aspects. When I applied sustained attention and conscious effort to my thoughts, words, and deeds, my soul was empowered to act in freedom. Building upon this foundation of freedom, I could choose to turn away from selfishness and “lay down my life.”8 And as I became increasingly liberated from the chains of automatic living and the blindness of self-preoccupation, something changed within me that made the act of loving another possible: I could see.9
Jesus stated that the reason the Jewish leaders did not accept him was because they were blinded by the deceptions of the Deep.10 If we welcome the Word within us, we are set free from dark illusions and can see the world as it truly is.11 The wisdom that comes from being able to see from our hearts is the spiritual prerequisite of love.
Love is not based on emotions, attractions, or commitments. Moreover, the act of love is not necessarily kind or gentle (though it often is). By being awake to the world around us, love reaches outward with the heart. Love is a thought, word, or deed that is chosen for the sole purpose of illuminating and expanding another’s soul. Though it can be expressed in innumerable ways, the act of love is the soul embrace of another that aims to unite the other to God.12 The more we love one another in this way, reaching out from heart-to-heart, the more our souls begin to shine with the brilliant whiteness of God.
Our Work of Faith
For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.13
Faith is difficult to define. In the Gospel accounts, many seemed to use the word “faith”14 to refer to intellectual persuasion. In this sense, faith—or belief—is defined as the cognitive acceptance of the accuracy of some claim. For example, John recounted one of Jesus’s conversations with his followers:
Then they said to [Jesus], “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom He has sent.” So they said to him, “Then what sign do you do, that we may see, and believe you?”15
Those around Jesus wanted tangible proof that could persuade them to cognitively accept the truthfulness of his words. That is what they meant by faith. Jesus, however, meant something more.16
According to Jesus, faith implies a willingness to trust—to have faith in God is to trust in God. During their final conversation, Jesus said to his closest followers: “Let not your hearts be troubled; have faith in God, have faith also in me.”17 In his final appeal to their souls, Jesus was not telling his disciples to cognitively accept that God exists, he was instructing them to trust.18
As his teachings also indicate, Jesus expected trust to be expressed in action. For example, when a woman touched Jesus’s tunic hoping to be healed, he turned toward her and declared, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well,”19 highlighting not only her inner trust in his healing power, but also her willingness to act out of trust. Without action, there is no faith.20
After I had studied the activity of the three soul aspects for several months, I realized that I was observing faith. The trust-filled actions that Jesus required of those who followed him are born out of the soul. Sustained attention and conscious effort lay the foundation of our faith. By the freedom that comes from choosing our own thoughts, words, and deeds, we are able to repent and lay aside selfish-preoccupations. And as we do so, we develop the soul capacity to reach out to another in love, just as Jesus commanded.
To trust in God means that we follow the example of Jesus by laboring toward freedom, denying selfishness, and loving others soul-to-soul. By exercising the three soul aspects everyday for the rest of our lives we choose “faith expressed through love.”21
Matthew 23:27
Mark 9:3
Matthew 21:28–29
The Greek word for repentance is metanoeo, which is technically a combination of meta—which refers to “change”—and noieo—which means “to think.” In other words, a literal translation of this Greek word would be “to change one’s thinking.”
1 John 2:11
2 John 1:6
John 13:34–35
John 15:13
1 John 2:10
John 8:43–47
John 8:31–32
Luke 13:34
John 13:15
The Greek words are pisteuo and pistis. In English, these two words are translated as “faith,” “belief,” and sometimes “trust,” depending on the context. Throughout this book, I favor the word “faith” as the translation of these two Greek words because, in our modern usage, the word “belief” tends to be associated only with an intellectual process, which, as I will show, is contrary to how both Jesus and John described the essential work of the soul.
John 6:28–30
James 2:19
John 14:1
John 2:24
Matthew 9:22
John 10:25–27
Galatians 5:6